I’ve been suffering from chronic pain ever since I had surgery a year ago. The pain began in my abdome and slowly got worse over time. It’s been quite excuciating for the past 6 months or so. I’ve been to the ER a few times and have to take hydrocodone just to be able to function.
The source of the pain is currently unknown although all of the doctors who have examined me believe it’s neurological in origin. Thankfully, there is nothing wrong with my organs.
I’m waiting to get in to see a neurologist. About a week ago, I was in so much pain, it was just unbearable, the worst that it’s been. I then tried something new and rather odd. I said to myself, “enough!” I’m not going to recognize this pain anymore. I started telling myself it’s a phantom and there’s nothing wrong in my abdomen. I don’t exactly know how to describe how exactly I do this, but somehow I am able to use my willpower to make my brain ignore most of the pain signals. It’s hard to do, but my method is based on what I’ve learned with meditation. With deep breathing and concentration, I’m able to shut out most of the pain.
It comes at a price, though. It’s interesting how it happens but the moment I’m able to get relief, I get a headache, sometimes accompanied by melancholy. My brain is working so hard to suppress the pain signals that it’s literally hurting. At least that’s what it feels like. Scientists say we don’t have sensory nerve endings in our brains but I’ve always wondered about that.
I’ve been able to cut back a little bit on the hydrocodone, too. I know that will make my doctor happy. Often times I’m able to get rid of the headache the same way but it never complelely goes away. I’ve done some reseaarch on it and apparently there is a known top-down pain pathway that has something to do with decreasing the sensistivity to pain receptors. This is probably how people learn to walk on hot coals. Doctors first documented this phenomenon when they noticed how injured soldiers could ignore their pain and keep on fighting. I’m not exactly in a battle for my life but I can certianly imagine how being in such a position could make me ignore physical pain when there’s a trigger to pull that might save my life. Maybe with more practice I’ll get better at this.